another one behind us

Tonight we'll say goodbye to 2012, a year that has been very special for our family.  We capped the holiday and year-end celebrations with a trip to Minnesota.  When snow started falling here in Dallas on Christmas Day, I was worried we wouldn't make it; luckily, our flight wasn't one of many that was cancelled.  We're home now, in time to watch the Cyclones play in the Liberty Bowl (so far, not impressive) and to ring in the new year (we'll all likely be in bed by the time the ball drops, though).  And while I could write a lot about our year and our holiday, I'm this close to throwing my computer in the trash right now, so I'm just going to post some of my favorite pictures from the past week.

My beautiful girls on Christmas Eve before our celebration with the Brittains.

 Emma and Grandpa having a talk.

 Four Generations: Grandma Lou, Mom, Katie & Melissa, Sara & Emma.

Rides at the Mall of America - so much fun!

G & G with the girls; lots of love and laughter.

 Making snow angels; Sara loved sledding and playing in the snow this year (last year there wasn't any!).

 

I'll be back on the blog in 2013, a year during which I resolve to do everything better.  You know, because I've never made that resolution before.  Happy New Year, friends!

Merry Christmas to all ...

... and to all a good night!

Christmas Vacation

We are officially on Christmas Vacation!  We have two weeks of celebrating and spending time together upon us.  Tonight we took the girls to see Santa (better late than never); Sara enjoyed talking to him, and Emma was just happy to be held.  It was a successful trip, complete with a cute picture!

Sara's excitement about Christmas this year is contagious.  She has been a huge fan of the Advent calendar, and hops out of bed each morning to get her chocolate (I can justify the morning chocolate because the calendar is also a great learning tool).  Sara loves to play all of the musical ornaments on the tree, and has watched "Charlie Brown Christmas" at least two dozen times.  I can't wait to watch her on Christmas morning.

We'll celebrate Christmas Eve in Flower Mound before heading to MN in the evening on the 25th.  All the weather in the Midwest has me feeling relieved that we're not driving again, but I am glad there will be some snow waiting for us when we arrive.  Besides our planned travel, we have doctor and dentist appointments and plenty of relaxation scheduled.  Now it's time to breathe a little easier, squeeze in a few more viewings of our favorite Christmas movies, and just enjoy each other.

Hip-hip-hooray for Christmas Vacation!

reflection on Sandy Hook

Recently my blog has been reserved primarily for updates on the girls and our family, so I debated whether I wanted to post anything about the most recent school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Now that we've all had a couple of days to begin processing the event and hear all sorts of experts weigh in via various media outlets, I decided that I would also give my two cents, both as a parent and a school administrator.

First, I don't want to engage in a debate about gun control.  The reality is that someone who really wants to do something usually finds a way.  In this case, the guns were obtained legally anyway.  I hear people saying, "If only the principal or teachers had had a gun ...".  That idea gives me pause; I don't know how I'd feel if carrying a gun became a required part of my job.  I can't say what I would do in a similar situation, but personally, I don't know if a gun in my hands would make a difference.

Second, I won't call into question Ms. Lanza's parenting.  We can't say that she enabled her son and/or didn't deal with his illness.  For all we know, she may have been shot as she tried to stop his rampage on Friday.  Maybe I'm wrong, but she's not here to say otherwise.

Just like you, my heart is broken for the parents who are burying their babies this week, just before Christmas.  And for the students who survived, how do they ever return to school?  Their innocence is gone.  It is absolutely infuriating.  My greatest fear isn't that something specific would happen to harm my children, but that anything would happen to harm them.  Although I refuse to let that fear paralyze or dictate me, I can't imagine going on without either of my girls.  I am filled with sadness for the parents who are facing such a stark reality after Friday's senseless shootings.

While I certainly don't have the answers, I absolutely believe that we need to turn our attention to mental illness.  Much mental illness can't truly be diagnosed until after adolescence, but we see signs of it in middle school.  Unfortunately, there just aren't the resources out there to help parents whose children are dealing with severe emotional disorders.  Often times, these kids score off the charts academically, eliminating small group or one-on-one teaching services, so they go from class to class like everyone else, but seriously struggle with all the stimuli.  Some parents, at their breaking point, are just waiting for the opportunity for their child to get arrested because the only help available is attached to having a record.  Just like suspension or expulsion won't change the behaviors of a child with mental illness, prison will not change the behaviors of an adult with mental illness.

There have been news reports alluding to the fact that the Sandy Hook gunman was on the Autism spectrum.  Please don't think that I'm confusing Autism with mental illness; I'm not.  But perhaps Autism (or Oppositional Defiant Disorder or something of the sort) was the cloak that kept the gunman's mental illness from truly being identified or treated.  It's just a theory.  However, even if the gunman was appropriately diagnosed and labeled during his school years, the reality is that the public school likely wouldn't have had the resources to properly serve him.  On a larger scale, our communities don't have a resource to serve such individuals.  Prison isn't the answer (and it only becomes the temporary answer because someone ends up doing something terrible, something that may have been avoided with the right social services).  For the record, I'm not pretending to know what those services might be, but there are plenty of experts who could help define them if the resources were made available.

As public educators, we open our doors and our hearts to every child.  Not just the smart ones or the kind ones or the ones from good homes.  I had a principal that used to say, "Parents send us the best kids they have; they don't leave the 'good' ones at home."  They send us what they have, and we love them  and teach them.  All of them.  Even the ones who, at the flip of a switch, throw desks and punch holes in the walls and cuss us out.  We love them through their failures and their struggles, just like we would our own children.  When the gunman was in first grade, his teacher would have shielded him from the bullets, too.  That's why teaching isn't a job; it's a calling of the highest degree.

Despite what we do for kids in our schools, and what their parents do for them at home, an individual with mental illness likely isn't equipped to live successfully without consistent structure and intervention.  When we turn them lose at the age of eighteen, it is so imperative that there is a system in place to keep carrying these people before the unthinkable happens, before we find ourselves in the position of having to be reactive.  At the end of 2012, mental illness isn't taboo; it isn't something we can wish away or quickly fix.  It is something we need to identify and treat to the best of our ability if we are to keep more tragedies of this sort from happening.  We can't eradicate evil, but perhaps we can find a way to appropriately serve those in such dire need.

May our thoughts continue to be with the families who lost loved ones, the first responders, and the survivors at Sandy Hook throughout the holiday season.

Holiday Dance Recital

Sara had her Holiday Dance Recital last week.  Unlike dance last year, rather than one big show in the spring, her hew dance class has winter and spring mini-recitals.  Everything takes place at her school, and it's much less low-key than last year, which I I think probably makes it a healthier experience at this point.  My only beef is that the recital happened during the normal dance class time, which is 9:45 on a Thursday morning for Sara's class.  It's a convenient way for Sara to be involved in lessons each week, but not a super convenient show time.  Still, I was able to sneak away from school for a little while Thursday morning to see the recital!

Ballerina Friends

She's Four

Our Sara Noel is four years old.  When she was a baby, I wondered all the time about who she would be as a little girl.  She still has a lot of growing to do, but it feels as though all of a sudden, I know who she is.  It's like it has happened over night.

At four, Sara is an absolute mix of sugar and spice, usually all at once.  She absolutely loves being a big sister.  Even when she's tired or crabby or upset, she can turn it off for Emma.  I've learned to bring Emma with me into Sara's room in the mornings because it's a guaranteed way to get her up and moving.  If it's just me trying to coax her out of bed, forget about it.

The testing of limits that began a couple of years ago has taken on a whole new meaning thanks to Sara's growing understanding of language.  Earlier this week, Sara got mad at me and told me, "You can't come to my birthday.  You have to stay home alone."  This morning she said, "Well, I'm already grown up."  Her responses when she's unhappy range anywhere from, "I can (fill in the blank) if I want to" to "Well, I don't care" with the word care spread over about five syllables.  Truthfully, we vacillate between disciplining and ignoring; it seems to depend on the situation, how the rest of the day has gone, and, really, how much energy we have.

The littlest things counter those not-so-desirable moments ... like a couple of weeks ago when we were grocery shopping and Sara randomly said, "You're the best mom."  I definitely basked in that moment as an older couple looked on and offered up the obligatory, "Aaahhhh."

Sara could practically live off of chicken nuggets, bread, apples, and cereal.  I know that she could live off of these foods because she does live off of these foods.  This isn't something I'm proud of, but it's the truth. 

My girl is a girl who knows what she wants, and I love this about her.  I believe that she has the qualities of a leader; they sometimes get her in trouble, but I know they will serve her well (even if they force some tough lessons along the way).  She tends to talk super fast, so we often have to slow her down to understand her ... but she just has so much to say and gets so excited!  Sara plays well independently, and can often be found coloring or doing puzzles for long periods of time.  And although I can occasionally get her in a pair of jeans, she would wear a skirt or dress everyday, given the choice. 

Much to my absolute delight, Sara has embraced the Christmas season.  She loves to sing along in the car to "Feliz Navidad", "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", and "Jingle Bell Rock".  She likes watching "Charlie Brown Christmas" and "Christmas Vacation" (which she lovingly calls "Clark"), and she laughs at all the right parts. 

Overall, we think that Sara is pretty much just the best four-year-old ever.  She's funny, smart, and kind ... and she makes our lives so absolutely wonderful.  Happy Birthday to you, Sara-bell!

Marathon Man

Nearly two years ago, Steve was unhappy with the way he looked and felt.  In an attempt to get in shape and lose some weight, he started following the Couch-to-5K program.  Today he ran a marathon!

 To be honest, when he said he'd be running this particular race, and I realized that the bulk of his training - evenings as well as several hours on Sundays - would take place as we adjusted to life with a newborn, I was less than thrilled.  Still, I wanted to be supportive of his efforts, so I encouraged him. In the end, even though Steve did the running, I do believe this was a team effort.  (I will say that his diet regimen turned out to be a great thing for me in trying to lose the baby weight, so I did benefit from the training, too!)

It was so exciting to cheer him on in the final leg of the race today.  After months of dedicated training, Steve achieved what he set out to do.  Regardless of whether he ever runs another one, he'll always have this one; he gets to say he did it (and he has the medal and finisher t-shirt to prove it!).

 

I don't take the time very often to brag about (or even blog about) Steve, but I just had to today. We are so, so proud of him!

Three Months

Emma Grace is three months old!  It feels like just yesterday she was drowning in her newborn onesies, and now she is solid and strong.  Sara told me, "Mom, I'm glad Emma is getting to be such a big girl!"

(not so happy about taking a pic)

At three months, Emma is wide-eyed and alert.  It is so fun to go into her room in the mornings and watch her wake-up.  She stretches, opens her eyes, and smiles a great big smile.  Emma is very responsive to us, and is starting to do a lot of "talking".  She moves her lips and makes all sort of noises.  Unlike Sara, who was interested in her pacifier for about one minute as a newborn, Emma finds great comfort in hers.  She sleeps curled up with a chewy (a trait passed down from her big sis), and enjoys being able to watch the action when she's awake.  It's especially fun to watch her get excited: arms and legs punching and kicking in all directions, and a huge smile across her face. Emma is still super cuddly and she enjoys being held, but when she is tired, often times she just wants to be left alone in her crib.  She'll still occasionally fall asleep in our arms, but she's definitely a girl who knows when she wants her bed.

We don't go back to the doctor until four months, so I'll have official stats then.  But for now, Emma continues to comfortably wear 0-3 month clothes, though I think we'll make the move up to some 3-6 months items by Christmas.  She is eating close to six ounces at most feedings, and often acting incredibly put out when the bottle is empty.  I know she'll be ready to start cereal when we get the okay from the pediatrician next month.

In the meantime, we're enjoying our first holiday season with our two girls!

(p.s. this happened about three minutes after the crying pic above ... daycare really wears a girl out!)

'Tis the Season

We kicked off December and the Christmas season with our annual trip downtown for the Children's Medical Center Christmas Parade.  In past years, we've gotten up early and taken the DART downtown.  This year we decided to do something a little different, so we spent Friday night at the new Omni Hotel, within walking distance of our parade seats. 

Sara was so excited all week about staying in a hotel.  As soon as we made it to our room, she put on her pajamas and made herself at home.  We were on the 20th floor, and the floor-to-ceiling windows allowed us to fall asleep to great views of the city lights, and to wake up overlooking parade preparations.  Everyone enjoyed a relaxing night and a fun change of pace. 

Christmas jammies ...

 Room service ...

 Giant ornaments ...

I didn't get any pictures of the actual parade this year since our hands were twice as full as they have been in previous years.  But we had a wonderful time as always, and now that Sara knows that the hotel-before-parade option exists, I think we may have permanently upgraded our annual tradition.