We need a morning fix ... or, better stated perhaps, a way to fix our mornings. See, way back when, the mornings were drawn-out because Sara required a thirty-minute bottle feeding prior to arriving at daycare. After a while, she stopped taking bottles, but we still fed her in the mornings at home. I remember feeling like time was totally on my side when we started attending an eat-breakfast-at-school facility. Our mornings just started moving more quickly, and were generally nicer&smoother.
Well, Sara still eats breakfast at school (at the same table every single day next to Audrey and nobody else better sit in her spot, thankyouverymuch), but the nice&smooth part of our mornings has come to a screeching halt. Now there are tears in our home every single morning for one reason or another (or for multiple reasons).
Sara may wake up in a good mood, but she's a ticking time bomb ... and there's no telling what the trigger might be. Maybe she wants to wear the clothes she picked out the night before (or maybe she doesn't). Maybe she wants you to pick out her socks (or maybe she doesn't). Maybe she wants to turn off the light (or maybe she doesn't). Maybe she likes the selected cereal that's waiting in a baggie to be taken to school (or maybe she doesn't). Maybe she wants something to drink (or maybe she doesn't). Maybe she wants to pick her shoes out of the basket (or maybe she doesn't). You get the picture. The point is, if something happens that is out of sync with what she wants (which means we haven't read her mind), Sara bursts immediately into tears. There's nothing rational about it ... just an instantaneous tantrum.
Of course, frustration ensues. While Steve's instinct is to discipline, mine is to appease because we're already in a time crunch in the mornings, and I'm sure not ever in a mood to listen to her scream the whole way to school. I know that's not the answer, but it's easier than arguing and there's just nothing worse than a bad start to the day. Plus, I don't have the answer (clearly).
I know that hitting up the liquor isn't really a viable option first thing in the morning (not that I'd ever consider it ...), but I sure would like a suggestion to help ease the pain. I need a morning fix. Quick.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Morning Fix
Posted by Katie at 7:02 PM
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8 comments:
Oh, I remember having those mornings..don't have a fix for you though. This too will get better with age!
Love
Grandma W
I think our toddlers have been cut from the. exact. same. cloth. Sigh. We run into the same problems in the morning. But they will grow out of it, right?! RIGHT????!!!!
I think its the terrible twos!!! Talk to her as little as possiblewhile she does her routen. She wants you to react. Just go about your business then tell her when its time to go. she will get tired of not stiring you up.
I have a theory. It may or may not be substantiated by actual science, I haven't bothered to check, but I really truly think that toddlers are going through not just physical and mental growth spurts, but also emotional ones. It's like they have extreme cases of how I feel when I'm PMS'y. I wish I could give you a 'fix', but Charlotte is almost 4 and still a ticking time bomb. The bomb-explosion changes, and comes and goes with frequency - but it still happens. And I swear, it's like I can see the emotional parts of "her" growing, and she's just trying to figure them out. I'm sure you've heard the phrase "we get what we get, and we don't throw a fit." In our house it's evolved to "What do little girls who throw fits get?" And my expected response is "in trouble." But Charlotte always replies with "nothing." Which works, too. I just calmly ask her "what do little girls who throw fits get?" she either says "nothing" and calms down, or she continues her fit and I tell her she has to go to her room until she can calm down. It's what we've done since she was two, and while she still has fits - it definitely causes her to stop, think, look at what she's doing, etc. I don't go the discipline route b/c it seems to me like she's really just having to learn how to deal with disappointment and frustration, not outright trying to be naughty. That said - sometimes the fit escalates and there's some sort of outward physical demonstration (besides just the tears and wailing), like hitting something nearby, for example - that gets time out or sent to her room immediately. But I try not to come across as overly angry, b/c I'm wanting her to learn to calm herself - so I go the more disappointed route.
Wow, long rambly response to basically say - I feel you, and I wish I could say it gets better immediately, but I dont' think it does, lol. Or maybe I'm going about it all wrong and I should just start beating her.
The only suggestion I have is to make her feel more in control of her morning. Give her two choices. She can have this cereal or that one. This outfit or the other, etc.
Otherwise, I ignore the fits after first validating feelings. Sometimes I offer a compromise, but most of the time Finn does not listen to reason. Finn is 4 and my biggest fit thrower. When he was younger, you'd never know what would set him off. The tantrums have abated and he usually only has fits when he's tired.
Hmmmm--we are going through the same thing at our house, except Lyndsey could care less what clothes I pick for her. She has also started crying every single time I leave her, no matter who it is with--UGH!!! For the most part I ignore her and go about my day--but I have starting making sure that i am ready to go first, car packed the whole bit then get her up and around--I also promise things like, "be good today and I will take you for a walk, to the park, buy you skittles, etc--if that doesnt work I take disciplinary action.
Well, I feel a little bit better about myself knowing that we are not the only ones who have mornings like this on a regular basis. Describing it as a ticking time bomb is a completely perfect description. Ben is the same way - right down to the cereal in a baggie. I always try to save a couple of minutes to rock with Ben, which he still loves even at 3 1/2 years, but sometimes those few minutes are the only ones that are peaceful! I just hope he grows out of it before Abby grows into it!
There's no easy answer for the terrible twos. She's working on the difference between "you" and "me." It's called the first adolescence, which really got me worried about junior high.
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