rough around the edges

Lots of people say that "kids will be kids" and especially that "boys will be boys", but we scoff at these phrases when a child exhibits some more, um ... delinquent tendencies.  Segue to summer school: all of my summer school students are incoming freshmen (hopefully) who failed at least one core class in 8th grade.  Their transition to 9th grade is dependent on their success in summer school.  In general, we're not talking about a group of incredibly motivated learners.  Many of them have spent years arguing with teachers, finding trouble with their friends, and generally being turned off of school.  What does motivate the majority of them at this point is the dreadful thought of having to return for a fourth year of middle school.

One student with whom I've spent some quality time since summer school started is really pulling on my heartstrings.  I have to remind him daily to pull up his pants, and one day I had to ask him to put on a shirt over his wife-beater tank so we didn't all have to look at his pit hair and his chest full of hickeys.  Nice.  (Luckily he got the message and I haven't had to ask him about that since.)  Tonight he's getting a court-ordered hair cut.  Court-ordered because he is facing assault charges.  Also, his mom is my age.  And, you know, she's pretty busy with her own life so she can't really be bothered to parent.

Despite everything hard about him, I am constantly reminded of the fact that he's a kid fighting to make it though the odds are already seemingly stacked against him.  And he has a heart.  He asks me every single day about the baby.  Today he let me know, in his most genuine manner, that it would probably be in my best interest to wear flats instead of heels so I don't hurt my back. 

This morning on his way to class, he told me, "I'm going to have a good day today, Ms."  A little while later, he was being disruptive in math.  But the teacher realized that his behavior wasn't a result of not understanding the content, as it is for many students.  His behavior was about needing attention.  So she gave him an Expo pen and put him at the board.  He walked the class through a number of algebra problems ... correctly. 

You know what that means: he's pretty smart, too.

When he was getting on the bus this afternoon, I said, "I'm glad you had such a good day!"  He said, "I know; I'm working hard, Ms."  It's absolutely possible that he'll show up tomorrow or the next day and make a poor choice and leave me feeling frustrated or disappointed.  He is, after all, a kid.  But that disappointment fades when a kid like him shouts down the hallway, "Ms., I got my work done today!" in hopes of receiving a little praise and encouragement.  In this need, he is no different than any other kid.

I don't pretend to be able to change lives, but I hope to be someone who continues to believe in kids, even when they've seemingly given people every reason not to.  As humans, we generally rise or fall to the expectations set for us; it's self-fulfilling prophecy.  You've heard the saying that those who are hardest to love need it the most, and this is especially true of kids.  I have to believe that the grace we offer today's kids, even those - especially those - who may appear not to deserve it, will be returned in kind.